Hello family, I can’t quite believe it’s November!
This month I am coming to you from sunny Gran Canaria in November 2022. During this month I was there holidaying with my mum, and we were having such a wonderful time!
The “Significant 12” Series is based on 12 months of experiences during the year 2022. It was during this year that I can truly say I dug deeper into God and invited Him into different areas of my life like never before! As a result of this I’m now in a blessed position to share these experiences, with the view of encouraging you to do the same.
This month’s stone is all about Boundaries!
Boundaries with people, myself, dating, and removing boundaries with God.
This leads us nicely into this month’s scriptures-
-The Key Scripture-
-The Boundary Line-
I’m sitting in this beautiful resort in the early morning just after sunrise with only the staff, the birds, and the crashing of the waves on the rocks below for company.
I realize this month had been a tough one…which in essence means my relationship with God has developed, deepened and grown too!
As I have changed and grown as a person this year, there has also been a shift and a change in my behaviors, wants, needs and desires and as a result of this my relationships with others has also changed.
Change is not all that easy you know, especially when it comes to relationships with others.
We can experience resistance from within ourselves and resistance from others when we try to create positive changes or place boundaries in relationships. God was showing me in this season that some relationships had to go, others needed less focus, and that there were some entanglements I needed to step out from completely.
It was time to lay some new boundary lines!
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart(Hebrews 12:1-3)
– The Boundary Line: Dating-
During the period of 2022 I found myself in a position where God was highlighting to me that I had suffered a lot of abuse during past dating relationships, and that this was an area he wanted to minister into.
In order for me to date healthily and move forward I needed God to heal me so that I could finally see clearly and put some firm boundaries within my dating life.
In all honesty inviting God into these spaces was really hard for me. It meant I really had to deny my own wants in terms of a relationship, the type of men I thought were right for me, and my expectations around how I deserved to be treated (as unfortunately they were not aligned with God).
My lack of boundaries in dating we’re leaving me wide open to deception, hurt, pain, disappointment and ungodly temptation.
I had to understand that in Godly dating we also put boundaries within our conversations, the kind of photos that we share, and even where and when we spend time together.
In order to date healthily it’s vital we know our value and worth!
–The Boundary Line: Friendships-
Okay, so we have looked at dating so now lets look at boundaries with friends.
(Not easy either be honest!)
Life has its seasons and God really navigates you through them, and in this season I have been quite focused on really just doing what God has called me to do. I have been busy with my theology and leadership studies plus placement, my freelance work and consultancy work, prayer ministry, my family, children, Life Essence Ministry and many other aspects of my pretty full life! There were also aspects of my life that God had asked me to let go of, so therefore there needed to be shifts and changes in relationships in these areas too.
I still loved and cared for my friends from seasons past, I just knew I was in a different season and had less time to invest in close everyday/or previous friendships.
Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.Proverbs 25:17
As part of this change I have had to have difficult conversations with friends and family, I have had to learn to say no to catch-ups and only do what I can do and what God leads me to.
Sadly some have taken this really personally, even though it is not personal or a reflection on them as a person. This has been so challenging and painful (I’m sure you have been there).
Boundaries are always changing and we always need to review them as life is always changing.
-Praise & Worship-
Listen to this amazing song- “Break Every Boundary” by Shaylee Simeone (Official Lyric Video)
-Reflection and Meditation-
Setting personal boundaries is really important as they really define your identity, boundaries are like the property lines around a home. This is my property, and that is not my property. This is me, what I value, am good at, believe, need, or feel, and that is not me.
After reading this blog, you may start to question the boundaries or lack of boundaries you have in your own life, you may ask yourself;
Am I meeting my own needs?
Jesus met his Personal Needs
He ate healthy foods
He got the sleep he needed
He even took naps!
He took time to relax!
He did a lot of walking
Am I excepting inappropriate behaviour?
Jesus Said No to Inappropriate Behaviour!
Unreasonable Demands
He withdrew from the crowds who wanted him, for one-on-one time with the Father (Luke 5:15-16)
Abuse
He fought his way through the crowd that was trying to throw him off a cliff for claiming to be the Messiah (Luke 4:28-30)
Entitlement
He didn’t give in to his mother and brothers who tried to use their relationship with him to pull him away from the crowd he was ministering to (Matthew 12:46-50).
Baiting Questions/Manipulation
When the religious leaders asked him baiting questions to make him look foolish, he answered with incisive questions of his own
Cynicism
He said no to Herod’s mocking demand, “Show us a sign that you are the Son of God.” (Luke 23:8-9)
Manipulation
He said no to Peter and the disciples who had an inappropriate agenda for Jesus to be a political king or military warrior rather than a sacrificial lamb. (Matthew 16:23)
Pride
He didn’t heal those who were too proud to trust Him (Matthew 13:58).
Additional questions
Do I have Boundaries with God?
Am I keeping parts of my life away from God?
Am I doing my own will and not the will of God?
God has lovingly set our boundaries, for our own protection and our safety, so that we don’t get hurt and experience unnecessary grief and pain. He wants us to experience true freedom in every way with him. When we live inside God’s loving boundaries, we experience joy, peace, and many blessings; here are some useful scriptures!
I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts. Psalm 119:45
I run in the path of your commands, for you have broadened my understanding.
Psalm 119:32
Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. Proverbs 4:14-15
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
-Practical Biblical Ways to Set Boundaries-
Personal Prayer Time: “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen” (Matthew 6:6).
Be Honest and Direct (Don’t Pressure People or try to get them to do things or all ow people to do that to you): “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).
Set Priorities: “No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other” (Luke 16:13).
Please God, Not People: “How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?” (John 5:44).
Obey God: “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’ ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “’ The first,’ they answered” (Matthew 21:28-31)
Below is a picture of my incomplete creative work that encapsulates the year and is based on two key scriptures; Joshua 3- Crossing the Jordan River the second being John 4-Jesus Talks With a Samaritan Woman
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