When Hiddenness Has Done Its Work |Part 1

Recently, as I was spending time in the book of Esther, I found myself being drawn not only to the part of the story many of us know so well, but to everything that had taken place before arrived.

Most of us know the words, “for such a time as this.” We know the courage of Esther, the palace, the crown, and the moment where she chooses to stand. Yet the more I sat with the Scripture, the more I found myself asking a different question.

What had God already formed in Esther before courage was required of her?

I think this matters because public moments rarely begin in public, by the time we arrive at Esther chapter four, we are not simply looking at a woman who suddenly became brave.

We are looking at someone whose life had already been shaped through grief, loss, hiddenness, preparation, restraint and the quiet providence of God.

Before Esther ever entered the palace, she had already experienced the loss of her mother and father. Before she carried influence, she had known vulnerability. Before she was known as Queen Esther, she was Hadassah, a young Jewish woman living in exile, being raised by Mordecai, and carrying an identity that had to remain hidden in a place that did not yet understand who she really was.

That helps us avoid making her story too neat as we see that the Esther’s story does not begin with glamour at all, it begins with complexity. There is grief in it and there is displacement in it and there is the ache of being formed in circumstances she had not chosen, while being positioned in a place she could not yet fully understand.

This is why I think we have to be careful not to romanticise hiddenness, let us be honest! Hiddenness is not always peaceful or poetic. Sometimes it is confusing, sometimes it is painful, really painful and sometimes it is the season where you are still functioning on the outside, but inwardly God is separating things that have become tangled over time. He begins to show us what is identity and what has simply been survival, what is calling and what has only been pressure, what is obedience and what has quietly become performance.

As I have reflected on my own life, I have become increasingly aware that some of the seasons I once prayed my way through and hoped would end quickly were actually the places where God was doing some of His deepest work. At the time, I would not have described those years as fruitful, because they often felt slow and, if I am honest, sometimes painful. There were seasons of grief, seasons where I needed healing, and seasons where therapy became part of God’s kindness to me.

Alongside that, the Lord was teaching me about my own limitations and gently untangling responsibilities that I had carried for so long that I had almost mistaken them for part of who I was.

Looking back now, I can see that what felt frustrating at the time was not wasted. God was teaching me things that could not have been learned through activity alone. In His kindness, He was exposing old expectations, old words and old versions of availability that had quietly attached themselves to my identity, and He was showing me the difference between being useful and being whole.

That kind of work is not always easy to explain while it is happening. It can feel like your life has slowed down while everyone else is moving. It can feel like you are being hidden when really God is healing the vessel, narrowing the lane, restoring identity beneath role, and forming something steadier within you than you had before.

I have had to let God show me that I am not all the scattered roles I once carried. I may have many gifts, but I am still one person before Him. I am not the helper, the organiser, the gap-filler, the one who can do it all, or the one who becomes responsible simply because she is capable.

Those roles may have served a purpose in one season, but they are not the deepest truth of who I am.

This is where Esther’s hidden identity speaks so deeply to me, her identity was hidden from the palace, but it was never hidden from God. The palace may have known her beauty.

The king may have known her favour,the system may have known her position, but God knew Hadassah!

God knew the orphaned girl, the Jewish woman, the hidden grief, the concealed identity and the assignment long before the palace understood the purpose.

One of the things I find so powerful about the book of Esther is that the name of God is never mentioned, and yet His providence is woven through the whole story.

We see that people are positioned, that timing matters, that Favour appears and doors open and courage is called for. We are reminded that what looks hidden is not forgotten, and what looks ordinary is not wasted.

Perhaps this is why Esther addresses the times when God appears silent. He is not absent, He is merely quiet.

He is not indifferent, but rather operating in ways beyond our current comprehension.

We frequently anticipate that God's presence will be evident, and when it isn't, we may start to question if we've overlooked Him.

However, Esther reminds us that God is often accomplishing much more than we perceive while we await noticeable responses.

As I have sat with this story, I have thought about how often we want the door before we have allowed God to finish forming the person who will walk through it.

A door can open suddenly, but formation is rarely sudden.

A position may be given quickly, but wisdom, surrender, discernment and endurance are usually cultivated over time.That is why hidden seasons can feel so unsettling, God is not only changing our circumstances; sometimes

He is changing us.

Old roles begin to feel uncomfortable.

Relationships shift.

Things we once carried without question begin to feel heavy.

We find ourselves asking not only, “Lord, what are You doing with my life?” but also, “Lord, who am I becoming now that I am no longer carrying everything I used to carry?”

I believe that is part of the hidden work of God, He forms the person beneath the position,He restores identity beneath role, He teaches us that belovedness comes before usefulness, and that calling must flow from who we are in Him, not from the pressure of what everyone else needs from us.

When I look again at Esther, I do not see a woman who suddenly became courageous in chapter four. I see a woman whom God had already been forming long before the moment arrived. Before she stood publicly, God had been working privately.

Before the assignment became visible, God had been preparing the person who would eventually carry it.

When Hiddenness Has Done Its Work

Take a Moment to Reflect

• What has God been forming in me during hidden seasons?

• Have I been waiting for life to begin, or recognising what God has already done?

• Is there a season I have been resisting that God may have been using?

Prayer

Lord, thank You that You are at work even when I cannot see it. Help me to trust the hidden seasons and recognise that You have not forgotten me. Teach me to value Your forming more than my own timetable, and give me grace to walk faithfully where You have placed me. Amen.